Oscar Night -That's Entertainment?

Oscar Night always brings its own brand of special entertainment.  A parade of shallow Hollywood celebrities in expensive gowns on a red carpet. 

Entertainment rumors about what celebrities will wear and who they will be with.

An evening awards show which gives a trophy (Oscar) for alleged cinematic achievement on the Hollywood scene. 

It's a night for glamour and the celebrities. Its also a night of sheer boredom. 

Here are the highlights from the 82nd Academy Awards,  Oscar Night - That's Entertainment?

-The first few minutes of the 82nd Academy Awards were not at all funny even though there was a pot joke, a joke about prison anal rape, puns about masturbation, drinking, and sex.  Actually, it was just like being at any of the classless comedy movies released from Hollywood last year.

- In an effort to reduce the high national unemployment rate, ABC has hired not one but two over the hill, washed up, white, Hollywood actors to host this years award. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were so bad that they could not even get a gig on Saturday Night Live.

- After fifteen minutes of the most mind numbing television that can ever be imagined, Cablevision decided to save its 3.1 customers from the further pain of the Oscars by pulling the switch.  However, no good deed would go unpunished and the show would eventually return.

- And the award for best picture is Hurt Locker?  Let me see if I get this straight.  The award went to an Iraq  bomb movie that actually did bomb in the theatre since few people ever went to see it (domestic gross 12 million).  Meanwhile, runner up Avatar, the most successful movie ever in 3D has been a smash hit with the public making more than 700 million dollars. 

Apparently the Academy was less than impressed with Avatar when for some reason they watched Avatar on a small screen and only in 2D instead of 3D.  Oh, and the fact that Hollywood does not like Avatar Director James Cameron may have played some small part in the decision as well. 

The award for best political advertising campaign goes to J.D. Hayworth for his depiction of John McCain as an Arizona Avatar Democrat (see picture above).  Just kidding - this was not an Oscar award at least  for this year. 

For some strange reason Ben Stiller appeared in Avatar makeup for the Best Makeup category. The problem was that Avatar was not even nominated for the award. If anyone cares, Star Trek won the Best Makeup Oscar.

There was a never ending tribute to the late Director John Hughes which reunited members of that mediocre acting fraternity known as the brat pack.

Fresh off her award for the worst actress of the year (Razzie Award) in the romantic comedy flop "All About Steve", Sandra Bullock won the Oscar for Best Actress of the Year for her part in the movie "The Blind Side".  How much do you want to bet that she did not see it coming. 

A bad night for the gamblers betting on upsets. Oscar night went exactly as many had predicted.  

Sandra Bullock said late in the show about her new Oscar: "Did I really earn this? Or did I just wear you all down?"   I guess wearing down are the right word for these awards.  I have lost three hours of my life to the Oscars that I will never get back.

Steve Martin mercifully ends the evening by saying: "Ladies and gentlemen, the show is so long that Avatar now takes place in the past."  Thank goodness the same thing can now be said about last nights 82nd Academy Awards.

No wonder the Academy Awards have experienced a ratings decline in recent years.  Oscar Night - That's Entertainment?  Not really.

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